The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle

Author:Laura Doyle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BenBella Books, Inc.
Published: 2017-03-22T04:00:00+00:00

The Best Self-Improvement Project

Getting married was the best self-improvement project I’ve ever undertaken. I can say without a doubt that I’m a better sister, friend, daughter, and coworker now than I was before I started practicing the Six Intimacy Skills with my husband. My happy marriage is my greatest accomplishment because in learning to nurture intimacy, I also gained humility, discipline, dignity, respect, self-care, and acceptance. Where those virtues were once a list of words that I didn’t fully comprehend, I now enjoy the astonishing benefits of having some degree of each of those qualities—all because I desperately wanted to feel loved and desired.

The reason being married has been such an effective teacher is that every day I’m faced with my spouse-mirror. I get a pretty immediate and accurate reflection of my energy from my husband. When I’m happy and playful, he’s typically attentive and affectionate. When I’m controlling, he’s reliably distant and defensive. When I’m vulnerable, he’s quick to respond with tenderness and protection. When I’m grateful, he looks for even more ways to delight me. When I treat him respectfully, it engenders passion and adoration. When I’m anxious, he tries to comfort me, unless I’m anxious about him or something he’s responsible for—then we’re back to distant and defensive.

In other words, he’s a reliable barometer of my attitude, which I have complete control over.

Granted, he’s also a separate person who has complete control over his own attitude, and he may decide to have a crummy demeanor from time to time. He’s only human, after all. But when I embarked on this journey, the most shocking part of all was finding out that, most of the time, my husband was reflecting back to me what I was bringing to the party. In other words, I recognized that I had a lot of power—much more than I realized.

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